ANTI-MACHISMO FEMINIST RANT

T.I.M.



I am really tired of being called bonita, linda, cute, hermosa, guapa, lo que sea. Whether or not it’s true is irrelevant. I am sick of being recognized for physical characteristics—I don’t care if you think I’m ugly or pretty or weird-looking; I DON’T WANT TO KNOW. I want to be recognized for what’s inside my brain, for my education and oddities and random thoughts and beliefs. The frequency with which I am recognized for my appearance is taking a toll on me. It’s to be expected since I am a novelty: an almost-blonde foreigner, but I’m wishing they’d just keep it to themselves. I wish I could tell these stinkin’ machistas, “blindfold yourself, then have a conversation with me.”

WILT

The bus ride home from school is great because I get to listen to music on my ipod and reflect on the day and my mood (which has a huge say in what music I listen to). This last bus ride home today I was feeling somewhat of a mix between rage and passion and anger because of the machista stuff I mentioned above. I listened to super-feminist Lilly Allen, and felt so satisfied and empowered when I listened to a certain song, that I even laughed out loud, wishing I could sing the chorus to some of the men in this world. (I can't post the link on my blog because it is a little explicit, no, very explicit.)

I have also been reflecting a lot on homosexuality while here in Mexico, for many reasons (the don’t ask don’t tell controversy happening in the States, the love of Lady Gaga here in Mexico, and the absence of visible gay couples here, to name a few). The presence of machismo also makes me think about homosexuality. I have come to realize how valuable a gay friend can be to a woman. I guess I should speak on my own experience, though.

So, one of my best friends from SJU is a gay man, and he was only ever my friend. Like, I never consciously thought of him as my “gay friend.” But now that I am living in a more sexist culture (“more sexist,” because let’s be honest the whole darn world is sexist), I am realizing how liberating it is for me as an independent, feminist young woman to have a gay male friend. I grew up with four brothers, so I value very much the companionship of males. But it is hard living in a male-dominated society (USA included), because as a woman, you can never REALLY know when a guy is looking at you as an individual or as a body with certain physical characteristics, whether he is a platonic friend or a stranger. So having a gay friend, I am liberated of that threat of objectification. Here in Mexico that feeling has become SO evident. I long for that kind of relationship, because I am so sick of being identified by my physical characteristics. It is not done in hostility or with bad intentions; it is just a playful way that many men have chosen to (and been taught to) relate with women (walking past a male in the University hallway today and hearing them say “cute teacher” in heavily-accented English, or having a male acquaintance refer to me as the prettiest teacher in the school with a smile and playful wink or gesture). It is not meant to be creepy at all, but I am absolutely sick of it. It is so patronizing and I feel disrespected when it happens.

So, I have never before felt so keen on listening to Lady Gaga, but I can assure you that she is the ultimate female-empowerer. So I leave you with an extremely empowering song by her. And if you are interested, check out the original video, though it is a little graphic.



Viva feminismo. Viva Gaga. :)